GENDER ROLES AND STEREOTYPES ARE SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS.
Trans* people do not dress the way they dress or participate in the activities they like because they’re “trying to fit into society’s gender boxes”. They do these things because they are trying to be THEMSELVES. If the previous logic was true there would never be a gay trans person, because that doesn’t fit society’s “rules” for how their gender should act. There would never be a transwoman who works on cars or enjoys football (believe me, I know plenty personally) or a transman who cooks or wears makeup and dresses (ever seen FemmeFTM??) because that doesn’t fit society’s gender rules. I don’t “ACT like a guy to fit society’s boxes” - I ACT LIKE MYSELF. AND THAT HAPPENS TO BE A GUY. AND THAT HAPPENS TO SOMETIMES FIT SOCIETY’S BOXES, AND SOMETIMES NOT.
Trans* people do not use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender TO FIT IN. Fucking lucky for you if you’ve never had to feel the extreme discomfort and anxiety of being in a vulnerable setting like a public bathroom where you don’t belong. Really, truly great if you’ve never been a man forced into a women’s bathroom and had security called on you, had women look at you with disgust and discomfort and fear, been dragged out by someone’s boyfriend and beaten for being a “perv”. Fucking great if you’ve never been a woman forced into a men’s bathroom and been physically or sexually assaulted by some assholes who feel it necessary to make a point.
Just use the wrong bathroom, right? Because it doesn’t mean anything. Just pretend to be something you’re not, cause gender doesn’t matter. I should do what’s easy, not what’s right for me, because it doesn’t mean anything anyway, so I should just shut up about it. Fuck, if ANYTHING is playing into society’s arbitrary rules for gender, it’s NOT doing what is right to me, NOT fighting for my ability and right to be where I am comfortable.
As a queer, a feminist, and an all around activist for social justice, I fight arbitrary gender roles EVERY DAY of my life. But if GENDER were a construct, I would not deal with the mental anguish I do every day, the physical nausea I feel when I look at my own body, transition would not be a literal life or death matter. Put yourself in my shoes for ONE MINUTE before you tell me what I do and don’t need to live my life and navigate this world in a way that is right for me. This world we live in is misogynistic and harmful and disgusting but DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE tell me that that same society dictates who I am.